As my period as an English teacher in one of my town's high schools has come to an end I've decided to write about this exceptional experience. Five months ago, I was sitting at home and complaining from not finding a job, suddenly a friend of mine whose mother works as a religion teacher in a Catholic school told me that the principle of that school that her mother works at is looking for a new English teacher, and because she knows me she nominated me for this job. I can't deny that I felt happy, but also scared. I always said that I will not never ever teach, because teaching is the job of the uncreative people who can't find a good job, but now I'm glad to say no, this isn't the case. Teaching is so much different and it's more than just a job.
After turning the idea inside my mind, asking my friends and family I agreed to go to the interview where I met the principle who had a long chat with me, looked at my C.V and my official papers and finally gave me another appointment to meet her before deciding whether taking me in or not. Even that she didn't say clearly if she does want me or not, but I sense it so I walked out with a little hope.
In the few next days I revived a phone call from her telling me that she has approved on hiring me as the new English teacher and she added that she wants to meet me again before the Christmas break to decide on the money, time and the classes I would teach. So I went, we talked about the money which it's not very much (it's the case with teaching!No money!) time, and finally about the grades. I remember the second I heard "You will the 11 and the 10th grades!" I felt a cold numb running under my skin, I lost the ability of speaking as started suturing from the shock.
I'm still an undergraduate student, who doesn't have the experience in life or even in language to be able to teach two advanced classes. I tried to convince her if she can give me middle classes, but it appeared to me that the reason why I was there that there isn't an English teacher for those classes, because the previous teacher had to leave after the first semester. I found myself trapped between accepting the offer and refusing it. I remember going home and laying on my bed and thinking about what I have done. I have accepted the offer to teach those classes. Although, everyone congratulated me on getting this job, I didn't feel the joy, because I wasn't sure if I can handle such a responsibility.
All the jobs I have been into were a cashier in a restaurant, a seller in a clothes shop, a drama trainer in a summer camp, but nothing was is the seriousness this job appeared to be. Christmas break has started, the school closed its gates, and I locked myself with my fear through the whole holiday in my room or if i wasn't in my room, outside, but still thinking about this horrific situation I have thrown myself into. At night I had nightmares about the students spitting on me, hitting me, laughing at me, the teachers not talking to me, I'm failing to deliver any information, the chalks break in my hand every time I start writing on the board. These nightmare continued even after I got the material books, and started preparing by looking up some information on the internet, and reading other guide books.
After less than 17 days, Christmas break has finished and my first day at school was my first day also at my university, but because of the pressure I felt that day I didn't go to my classes in the university and decided to dedicate that day to the school.
I dressed well, made sure that I got everything needed in my bag, such as the books, papers, and pens. I walked into the school building then headed to the main office where I had a quick conversation with the principle who tried to encourage me and to tell me that there isn't anything to be scared of. I wanted to believe her so badly, but I couldn't, maybe because I didn't see the students before, so their images kept bursting in front of eyes as huge green hulks and scary witches.
The two classes were in the third store, but because I have arrived early I took my right and went to the teacher's room where all the teachers gather around their tables and chairs, eating, talking, correcting papers and talking about each others! I knocked the door and stepped in. All the eyes turned at me and welcomed me to sit in a specific empty chair. They were kind and welcoming, and I tried my best to show them my gratitude. After five minutes or a little bit more the bell rang, some of the teachers left the room and I did so. I went to the 11th grade where my first class was.
The class wasn't big enough for the 26 students. Both the Art and the science section take English together at the same time. There was a small wooden squared table in front of the board and the students sat in their seats with their hawk eyes starring at me. I felt that they were checking everything about me, my pants, my shoes, my shirt, my hair, my ears, the shape of my lips, the roundness of my eyes and the way I spoke.
Thanks for the long years of acting and Drama courses, I knew how to hide my fear and a cold mask. I stood next to the table and started asking the students for their names, they all told me their names and I told them mine. Afterwards, because I thought that this was the first class and I shouldn't give them a lesson from the first time, I wanted to make them play a game. I divided the class into two groups and put some miss ordered words on the board. They had to find out the ordered word, or if they couldn't they should find out the maximum number of words. During the game one of the girls shouted "rough..rough" I heard her and I wrote it on the board, but as "ruff" in this point all the students started laughing, thinking that I did a dreadful spelling mistake. Despite telling them that there is something called "ruff" they kept this image of me as a bad speller in their mind, and I think that this was one of the reasons that made me feel that they have lost a very important thing in me that day, reliability.
Directly, when I went home I tried not to ignore that issue and forced myself to deal with it before it increases. So I sat with myself and started writing the words that I thought that I might write wrong, and they were many. Now after 5 months of teaching, I can say that that incidents that happened on the first day has taught me how to be more careful in choosing my words and presenting them.
The months have passed and by everyday I discovered a new thing about them, and they did the same to me. We laughed with each other, we joked, we shouted, we screamed, we had those boring moments when the lesson is very hard or silly, we watched many videos and movies, we wrote many articles, essays, short paragraphs, they cheated and I punished them, they listened to music in class and I took their phones, they cried and I was there for them to comfort them and to explain for them why did I make them cry. Many happy and angry moments have passed in the both classes not just in the 11th grade.
The 10th grade had a very different situation. They refused to change, they refused to change their studying techniques, a thing I asked them to do so they can be with me on the same track, and many of them refused to listen and to calm down in class. This class has a huge diversity in the order of behavior and the academic achievement. There are the calm student who study at home and listen to me in class, there is the calm ones who stay silent in class, but they don't study at home, there is the very hyper ones who keep talking and shouting in class, but they get good marks, and there are the ones who don't care about the material, who keep making a noise and don't study. All of these different kinds with a few exceptions made it harder on me to be able to follow them all, but by time I have managed to know everyone, how does s/he behave in class, how does s/he answer their exams, what are their weaknesses and their strength.
Moreover, three of the tenth grader were devils from hell, they used to keep shouting, singing, eating, jumping, hitting each other and the other student, not studying or even bothering themselves in pretending that they care. These three male students gave me a hard time in finding the perfect way in dealing with them, in addressing them, and without knowing how I found them turning to calmer people who at least are ready to hear your advice to them.
I think that their problem was that the school has decided to kick them out of its campus after the end of the year, so each one of them can move to another school because they are getting bad marks and their behavior is awful! The worst thing of all of this, that the school has told them about its decision which made them more careless, because they knew that there is no hope in staying in the class, forgetting that they need to pass their classes if they want to transfer to another school! The moment I knew this I started working with them on how we can improve our image in front of the school, so at least we would get a good recommendation paper from the school we have spent in more than 14 years. The students at the beginning refused to listen to me, but slowly I found that they were trying to control their anger less than before, trying to talk to me after classes , asking me how do I feel towards their behavior in that particular day, and I was sure to give them a positive feedback with an honest critical reflection on their behavior so they would be motivated and in the same time aware that they still doing something wrong.
I changed their places, put each one in a different place, I worked with them individually by giving them extra homeworks to do and to treat them differently that others in the exams. Till one of them has really changed 360 degree, he started sitting in the front road, writing everything I say, listing to me, asking questions, even his marks have improved, and eventually the school has approved to keep him.
I know that I still need years of experience to find the perfect way in dealing with every student, that if there was one, but I don't have the years, because I have decided and it's one of the decisions I made lately that I don't want to continue teaching, at least for now. I want to complete my Seminar the next semester, maybe finding a new job where I don't have to write exams and correct papers for 7 hours everyday!
To be continued...
After turning the idea inside my mind, asking my friends and family I agreed to go to the interview where I met the principle who had a long chat with me, looked at my C.V and my official papers and finally gave me another appointment to meet her before deciding whether taking me in or not. Even that she didn't say clearly if she does want me or not, but I sense it so I walked out with a little hope.
I'm still an undergraduate student, who doesn't have the experience in life or even in language to be able to teach two advanced classes. I tried to convince her if she can give me middle classes, but it appeared to me that the reason why I was there that there isn't an English teacher for those classes, because the previous teacher had to leave after the first semester. I found myself trapped between accepting the offer and refusing it. I remember going home and laying on my bed and thinking about what I have done. I have accepted the offer to teach those classes. Although, everyone congratulated me on getting this job, I didn't feel the joy, because I wasn't sure if I can handle such a responsibility.
After less than 17 days, Christmas break has finished and my first day at school was my first day also at my university, but because of the pressure I felt that day I didn't go to my classes in the university and decided to dedicate that day to the school.
I dressed well, made sure that I got everything needed in my bag, such as the books, papers, and pens. I walked into the school building then headed to the main office where I had a quick conversation with the principle who tried to encourage me and to tell me that there isn't anything to be scared of. I wanted to believe her so badly, but I couldn't, maybe because I didn't see the students before, so their images kept bursting in front of eyes as huge green hulks and scary witches.
The two classes were in the third store, but because I have arrived early I took my right and went to the teacher's room where all the teachers gather around their tables and chairs, eating, talking, correcting papers and talking about each others! I knocked the door and stepped in. All the eyes turned at me and welcomed me to sit in a specific empty chair. They were kind and welcoming, and I tried my best to show them my gratitude. After five minutes or a little bit more the bell rang, some of the teachers left the room and I did so. I went to the 11th grade where my first class was.
The class wasn't big enough for the 26 students. Both the Art and the science section take English together at the same time. There was a small wooden squared table in front of the board and the students sat in their seats with their hawk eyes starring at me. I felt that they were checking everything about me, my pants, my shoes, my shirt, my hair, my ears, the shape of my lips, the roundness of my eyes and the way I spoke.
Thanks for the long years of acting and Drama courses, I knew how to hide my fear and a cold mask. I stood next to the table and started asking the students for their names, they all told me their names and I told them mine. Afterwards, because I thought that this was the first class and I shouldn't give them a lesson from the first time, I wanted to make them play a game. I divided the class into two groups and put some miss ordered words on the board. They had to find out the ordered word, or if they couldn't they should find out the maximum number of words. During the game one of the girls shouted "rough..rough" I heard her and I wrote it on the board, but as "ruff" in this point all the students started laughing, thinking that I did a dreadful spelling mistake. Despite telling them that there is something called "ruff" they kept this image of me as a bad speller in their mind, and I think that this was one of the reasons that made me feel that they have lost a very important thing in me that day, reliability.
Directly, when I went home I tried not to ignore that issue and forced myself to deal with it before it increases. So I sat with myself and started writing the words that I thought that I might write wrong, and they were many. Now after 5 months of teaching, I can say that that incidents that happened on the first day has taught me how to be more careful in choosing my words and presenting them.
The months have passed and by everyday I discovered a new thing about them, and they did the same to me. We laughed with each other, we joked, we shouted, we screamed, we had those boring moments when the lesson is very hard or silly, we watched many videos and movies, we wrote many articles, essays, short paragraphs, they cheated and I punished them, they listened to music in class and I took their phones, they cried and I was there for them to comfort them and to explain for them why did I make them cry. Many happy and angry moments have passed in the both classes not just in the 11th grade.
The 10th grade had a very different situation. They refused to change, they refused to change their studying techniques, a thing I asked them to do so they can be with me on the same track, and many of them refused to listen and to calm down in class. This class has a huge diversity in the order of behavior and the academic achievement. There are the calm student who study at home and listen to me in class, there is the calm ones who stay silent in class, but they don't study at home, there is the very hyper ones who keep talking and shouting in class, but they get good marks, and there are the ones who don't care about the material, who keep making a noise and don't study. All of these different kinds with a few exceptions made it harder on me to be able to follow them all, but by time I have managed to know everyone, how does s/he behave in class, how does s/he answer their exams, what are their weaknesses and their strength.
I think that their problem was that the school has decided to kick them out of its campus after the end of the year, so each one of them can move to another school because they are getting bad marks and their behavior is awful! The worst thing of all of this, that the school has told them about its decision which made them more careless, because they knew that there is no hope in staying in the class, forgetting that they need to pass their classes if they want to transfer to another school! The moment I knew this I started working with them on how we can improve our image in front of the school, so at least we would get a good recommendation paper from the school we have spent in more than 14 years. The students at the beginning refused to listen to me, but slowly I found that they were trying to control their anger less than before, trying to talk to me after classes , asking me how do I feel towards their behavior in that particular day, and I was sure to give them a positive feedback with an honest critical reflection on their behavior so they would be motivated and in the same time aware that they still doing something wrong.
I changed their places, put each one in a different place, I worked with them individually by giving them extra homeworks to do and to treat them differently that others in the exams. Till one of them has really changed 360 degree, he started sitting in the front road, writing everything I say, listing to me, asking questions, even his marks have improved, and eventually the school has approved to keep him.
I know that I still need years of experience to find the perfect way in dealing with every student, that if there was one, but I don't have the years, because I have decided and it's one of the decisions I made lately that I don't want to continue teaching, at least for now. I want to complete my Seminar the next semester, maybe finding a new job where I don't have to write exams and correct papers for 7 hours everyday!
To be continued...
